For Sikuku :)

I  await your arrival with barely contained anticipation.

I always catch myself in a reverie…

Imagining  soft baby skin…sweet talc baby scents..

Wondering what skin tone you shall take…

shall it be a rich mocha, a healthy yellow glow,

or dark as a moonless night?

Hearing happy echoing  coos down the corridor..

Seeing your little feet in innumerable little booties..

running up and down wrecking havoc on everything you lay your curious little hands on.

I imagine your teething days, rubbing Ashton on your pink swollen gums, and lulling you to sleep when the runs wear you down,

I am humbled by the joy you are already bringing into this world  by the simple fact of your existence.

I imagine you having the time of your life, in the warm, dim, velvet paradise, every time you distort mama’s womb with happy kicks.

maybe you are dancing a little jig to the Bongo music she likes so much…

Your not here yet, yet the promise of your presence forever in my life inspires and challenges me to be a better woman.

So, as you grow,

preparing to come into this cold, hard and thankless world;

know that you shall never want

for warmth,

for friendship

for mentorship

for guidance

for love.

innumerable warm loving arms await you.

nifty personality test ..follow the link :)

Accurate personality test

Connecting Dots – (playing with words)

It is a window

I stand looking up at it from below a hill on a roadside on the outside edge of  a excellently manicured hedge

I’m on the outside, trying to  look in

but it doesnt matter.

I look through the window glass and see a life I could be living out there

my adventures are in the books I read in the sequestered gloom of my prison like room.

Today I saw him, he stood on the road below the hill below my sill and touched me with his eyes

but it doesnt matter.

He thought with his heart and acted in haste

all that he has left is a galling bitter taste

defeat on his tongue despair in his breast

her kin’s sturdiest defense, he could not best

see him on the road, gazing yonder

lonely thoughts consume him as her escape he ponders

but it doesnt matter.

What he is to me

The  mind is willing but the body is weak

it aches, throbs, pains

with pleasure

with lust, burning me until my skin swelters from within

participation, promise,torturous thoughts of he

I drive myself insane with lust…thus

with thoughts, of which I can never speak

The bondage of words, of vows unspoken

freely given, reluctantly taken, binds me, binds us

thorny twisted brambles , studded with lethally dripping honey sugar wet poisonous lust

pregnant with promise.

of ecstacy….

I long to touch , to lay hands on, to revel in the satin texture of his skin

dark like folds of a umbilicus

his manhood ignites storms of barely restrained passion

melting me into a puddle of want, of longing, of desire

of fantasies dreamed, cherished and hidden away

of heaven and miles between my thighs…

Slowly, I resolve to withstand the onslaught

but in the heat of desire, I melt away

I can hardly think past the tang old  sea salt scent of his skin..

and when he walks by

he sends me into alternating attacks of panic and longing.

frantically, I try to regain my composure…rebuild my walls before he notices.

He must never know.

I am no longer confused by my emotions.

I am no longer undecided

I am no longer afraid.

with acceptance, I am no longer in denial.

He is my antithesis

He causes my womanhood to rejoice and mourn in alternate turns

at the satisfaction giveth  man, and the limitless fallibility of his ways.

He evolves my sensory  perceptions

sharpening my visual of life with crystal clear clarity

the high definition of the sepia tones…

each times he holds me in his arms

He is my tone.

the low keys strumming resonant from the deep vocals in his ebony throat ;

sending wave after wave of desire cascading over me , drenching me…

leaving me gasping with all I am just to squeeze a breath through my pleasure stricken lungs

sometimes leaving me shaking in unfullfilment..

Under his control,

I strum deep baritones…

high clear notes

scaling form octave to octave

till he leaves me crashing yet again from the crescendo of passion unbridled.

He moves me to verse

he moves me to tears

he moves me to song and lightly footed dance

my spirit wallowin in the  bitter sweet refrains

when he strums me.

In My Dreams

I would share this treasure with only you.

Last night, I went to sleep.

I was there, in my dream,

A part of me but not in me,

Inside of you yet not within you,

A part of us, but separate from us,

As were you.

In my dream,

You were insane with lust,

It nearly made me lose control to see you thus,

A part of me struggled to remember to be gentle.

Another part didn’t give a damn.

Feel. Taste. Indulge.

So I touched, felt, tasted, and nibbled… bit… and teased,

My teeth left small red marks here and there on your skin,

I remember thinking that they looked intriguing beside the tattooed design

On your body,

In my dream…

And I indulged myself in the pleasure of your body

Your panting gasps all had a quiet vocalization to them now,

A sound that both spoke of your need and urged me on.

The scent of you was driving me insane.

With my hands, with my mouth, with the touch of my body,

I kindled your quiet moans to cries of need.

And you screamed again,

Our cries mingled together as we intertwined.

The strain of muscles and bodies and hungers overwhelmed us.

The motions of your body… swift, liquid, and desperate.

And there wasn’t any way I could keep you from taking me over the brink with you…

Pleasure like fire consumed us both and burned our thoughts to ash.

Time drifted by and did not touch us.

Unsettled

If I had a pen and paper in my hand,

I would write of the tumult that rages in my mind.

Double jeopardy…

Innocent and convicted, then guilty and free…

and so my path continues

Littered with  bloody broken bits barley recognizable.

Eternally I march to the soundtrack of half whispered wholly wished curses

The  wailing like bullets aimed straight for my head

my dodging  steps wildly staccato

running from the buzzing bee around my head, in my head.

I seethe from the hand that life continually deals me.

I cannot escape myself.

I cannot run from the power that is my thought. My negative thought.

Always stronger than my positivity.

I am the prototype Poison Ivy…

And so, on this my path I  continue…

Mayhaps… I shall find a less bloody  place to rest.

she saw – right through you

She protected you when they came after you

She overlooked your past, threw all the nay-sayers’ words to the wind

She gave you the best of she…

She loved you, she cared for you, she supplied your needs

She even entertained you

As a wife to her husband

As a confidant to a friend

As a screw to a bolt

She was to you

She was every thing you wanted in a woman,

Sometimes giving you more than you expected

She was your lover’s rock

She stood by your side.

She was yours…

Now she’s gone

Did I hear you wonder why she’s gone?

Because you made a fool of her

You lied to her face

You lied with your heart,

You gave your love to another

You committed to another

You gave up the meaning of you and her

Belittled all the sacrifice

For a passing whim

And worse still

You got caught.

The reason is simple.

She’s gone

Because you made a fool of her

c’est fini.

He loves me?  He loves me not?

Do my flower petals number odd?

I have been thinking about him in the most peculiar way.

Being in his arms was the closest thing to heaven to me

Loving him came so easily

Like breathing, like blinking, like being

It is… it was.

Constantly, I would oscillate between anger and hate

My desire, little else other than his touch could sate…

Other things only made the hunger….abate…wait

Hide folded somewhere into a deep dark recess of my mind

Until a memory, stirred by a random thought

Awakened by a scent, or a passing familiar face

Brings back yearnings, needs, fantasies,

Memories of shared realities

And again I am lost….

Heaven help the heart that lets him inside

Weary is mine.

I tire from running;

Pining after his love, his attention, after him;

I tire of loving someone who doesn’t require my love

I am weary of want, of my desire

My throat stings with the sharp bitter after-taste of his rejection

My heart bleeds from the stab wounds caused by his indifference

My mind tells me that I a fool for wanting, so very badly, to be with someone who wants me not.

With insensitivity he has cured me of my obsession

Cancelled out my love with contempt

I’m tired of crying for someone who aint’ worrying

My flower petals number even.

He loves me not.

Time to find someone who’ll take me there

Entranced

There is something in the look on her face

A power, something unnatural

Something that cannot be described; not by words

No, never by words;

It cannot be described with a gesture, or a variety of them, no, it cannot.

Only the person who beholds it can’t explain it.

They cannot speak of it; they can only mirror the expression to another

And another, and yet another…in a continual replication of thought,

Of touch, of sight, of taste

There is an expression in her face that can hold you in its thrall

An intensity of gaze, a weight to her eyes, uncommon for one so young

When she catches her reflection in a mirror, she stops in surprise.

It is hers, the face looking back at her, but she does not recognize it.

The person that she sees and the person that she feels she is inside

They are two different entities.

She looks upon a sensual beauty that seems in control of herself, her life;

While inside, she is lost.

Unsure of whom she is; she is constantly battling with herself.

The conundrum of she

Baffles all who look upon her

All who behold the expression in her face.

Those who have loved her can never be the same.

No other lover will move them as much as she..

For she makes an everlasting impression,

With the paradox of she…

She entrances all who behold the bewitching look upon her face.

Come with me

Come, run away with me

Lets go to a place where we can be ‘we’

where our souls will merge, become one

till there is more me in you and more you in me

Come, fly away with me

Lets enjoy together, the feeling of being free

where all that matters is you and me

and all that remains is the world at our feet

Come, my love, come away with me

come and share the love that flows,

so naturally

come, share with me, my secret sweets

come and complete the puzzle of me

my missing piece

come to me